Carol Epilogue

Of course, this story didn't end there. Nor, I have to admit, have I included all related portions, however distantly.

Like a cool August night.

The fact remains that eventually I sought out Carol. Awkwardly and clumsily though it may have been, I found myself completely unwilling to allow any more mysteries to remain untouched for the remainder of my life. And on a day when I set out to resolve three of them, a day when I was about to depart for another city, far away, I went looking for Carol.

I found her at work, at the company for whom we were both once employed. Funny, at last note she now only worked there occasionally, I presume for the pleasure of encountering old friends. But find her I did.

Carol was pleased to take some moments to talk with me, and I'm afraid that I stole far more than she could really spare. We talked for some time, there in the middle of a busy crowd, and I admit that I was determined to not let the moment pass. So determined, in fact, that allowing the course of the conversation to flow to various topics, I forced it along.

We spoke, and finally I explained to her the basis for my four months previously "Dutch" question. Not surprisingly, she didn't recall the comment, some dozen years later. Yet she also softly added that sometimes a naive person, who was raised away from overt sexuality, can sometimes innocently make suggestive comments unintentionally.

We spoke some more, and I wish that I could recall all that we talked about. Yet I do remember how it ended.

Someone behind me had been gesturing for Carol for some time, but still she had catered to my whims. Finally she started to rise, and desperately I found myself asking a forbidden question. And doing so badly. As well as baldly.

"Carol, all of those years ago, when we worked together...were you attracted to me?"

I needed to know the answer to that question--or one very like it. What I had intended was perhaps something more innocuous, less invasive, like, "Did you see me as an attractive guy?"

An entirely different issue. Merely a bit of reassurance for a guy who had had more than a few blows to his confidence.

Still, I will always remember Carol's reaction. I could see the query hit her, she completely froze in mid motion. The question was a jolt to her, for whatever of many possible reasons I cannot guess.

I watched, as she turned her eyes back to me, composure slip back into place. Her reply, when it came, was quiet, simple, honest, and straightforward. Apparently

"I had someone then."

With that, Carol strode off to where she was needed.

And I couldn't help but think...that's an odd way to say that she was already married.

Just another mystery from Carol.

And, even given Carol's completely plausible explanation, I still cannot come up with a completely innocent connotation for the original conundrum.

"Would you eat...me? "