Linda

If I were using real names here, there would be a plethora of 'Linda's, 'Lisa's and variants of 'Lori'. So I may as well use one of them here, in simple tribute to my longtime friend Linda. She is perhaps the one and only of my early college friends that I have managed to keep in touch with, and there is a deep and valued bond between the two of us.

I'll be the first to admit that, like my relationships with everyone, she and I have at times had our difficulties communicating. A situation which is largely related to my own difficulties and for which I must humbly apologize. I don't know how to describe Linda to you.

There was a moment, a few years ago, that she was meeting me one night for coffee. She parked up the street, and stood on the sidewalk waiting as I hastened toward her. I remember one instant, when I looked up and saw her silhouette, head slightly tilted, long blond hair falling across her shoulder, the lithe lines of her willowy figure. With a pang it struck me, just how beautiful she is, has always been, and how I had never managed to tell her so. There is so much of her beauty that I have never been able to share with her.

Linda belongs here because, like most of our little cliché in college, we all had grown up with strong religious backgrounds of one type or another. I'm not going to try to guess at her faith today, except that I am reasonably certain that, like me, it remains an essential part of her. And...Linda is also one of the most amazingly attractive women that I have ever met. She's an incredible lover waiting to happen--without the veneer of religious sexual repression hanging over her femininity.

Linda and I shared a moment, over twenty years ago in college, that I doubtless will ever remember far better than she. I'm not going to describe the circumstances, but one afternoon we found ourselves on my couch, her legs across my lap. With me giving her a gentle massage. Linda complains that her legs aren't nearly what they were at twenty, but now on the 'wrong side' of forty, they're still better than ninety percent of the women out there. That was, and remains, one of the most sensuous moments of my life.

Life has shifted for both of us, but Linda and I still keep in touch, and I'd like to think that both have been there for the other when needed--a bag of M&M's at the right moment goes a long way. Coffee and cribbage has been a tie, and she has been one of the few people that I have been able to confide in over the years. Both of us have made different choices in partners, but there are a few other things that I'll tell you about Linda, some of which I have recently shared with her.

I'll have to admit to you here, that there were a few times, when she and I went out for dinner as friends, that when we were sitting at a table, it was nearly impossible to keep from reaching over to touch her. At the end of the evening, when we said good night, not to lean over and taste those wonderful lips.

I know, because many years ago, on an occasion when I was leaving our college town and didn't expect to be back, as we said good-bye in her parking lot I asked Linda permission to kiss her. And to my surprise, she said yes.

It wasn't more than a quick brush of lips, but I'll always remember their sweetness.

Linda and I have always had an unspoken agreement not to risk our friendship, and we've always each known that the other is not what we're looking for in a long-term relationship. I have to admit that I have made a conscious effort not to flirt with her. Sometimes it hasn't been easy. But I think that of all the women that I've ever known in my life, if I were built for 'casual sex', that she is one of those whom I might most regret not having shared a special moment with.

Linda is an amazingly attractive, sexy and sensuous woman, and I might always regret not drinking more deeply of her passion. Those wonderful lips. Who knows, she might have found herself far more responsive than she ever guessed. Or at least...admitted.

To me or herself.