Despite a couple of flickers over the years when I had a chance to speak with Carol on various levels, I didn't really have the opportunity to speak with her for an extended period, to any great depth. And I knew that I would like to, if only because of the "Danish".
I have to admit that there was a day or two, when we spoke for a while, when chance brought the two of us to work together at another locale. Both times it was curiosity into other issues, related to another women, that ended up being the topic. I really didn't consider Carol "available".
I know that the first time, partially prompted by her/my friend Samantha's comment on Carol's attitude toward's certain matters, I simply asked Carol what she thought. Far from not being willing to talk about "sex", or private matters, Carol and I chatted for some time. Of course it began with Carol's query of, "When you say 'sex', do you mean 'intimacy'? I found myself wondering exactly where Sam was seeing this reluctance.
Another time, curious because I was interested in a woman who might not be able to bear children, I asked Carol about her perspective. I knew that she was her husband's second wife, and he hadn't wanted any more children, leaving her without children of her own. I was curious as to her experience and perceptions, wondering how such a loss could affect a woman. To which she very kindly enlightened me, on a fairly personal subject. I always appreciated her thoughtful and considered response.
But, having the opportunity to speak in any depth, with any degree of privacy? Let alone about...interpersonal sexuality? That simply wasn't going to happen.
At least...not for several more years.
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